Kink Glossary

The physical and emotional care given to all participants after a scene. Can include blankets, snacks, cuddling, verbal reassurance, or quiet time together. Aftercare matters for both submissives and dominants — 'top drop' is real.

The warm, floaty, deeply content feeling that lingers after a positive scene or sexual experience. Often accompanied by reduced stress and a sense of closeness with your partner(s).

Consensual roleplay where one or more participants acts as a different (usually younger) age. All involved are adults — age play is entirely psychological and distinct from any real minor involvement.

The right to make informed decisions about your own body and sexual practices. A core principle underpinning all consensual kink — no one may override another's autonomy without explicit agreement.

An umbrella abbreviation covering a spectrum of kink practices: Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism. The terms overlap — most kinksters identify with a subset rather than all six.

The consensual restraint of a person using rope, cuffs, tape, chains, or other implements. Can be purely aesthetic (Shibari), functional (limiting movement), or combined with other power exchange.

The receiving partner in a scene — the person on whom sensation, control, or actions are performed. A bottom can be any gender and is not necessarily a submissive; the term refers to role in a specific act rather than an ongoing dynamic.

A submissive who deliberately tests, teases, or disobeys a dominant in order to earn a reaction — usually playful pushback or 'punishment'. Brats are submissive by choice, not by compliant nature.

The controlled restriction of a partner's breathing for a brief, heightened sensation. Considered high-risk edge play — even experienced practitioners have miscalculated. Requires rigorous safety knowledge and should never be done alone.

The person being tied in a bondage scene, equivalent to the 'bottom' in a rope context. Often used specifically in Shibari/Kinbaku communities.

The nurturing dominant in a CGL/age play dynamic. Provides structure, comfort, and care for their Little. Not inherently sexual — some caregiver dynamics are entirely non-sexual.

Caregiver/Little — the broader umbrella for age play dynamics involving a nurturing dominant and a regressive submissive. Encompasses DDlg, DDlb, MDlg, MDlb, and gender-neutral variants.

The use of a physical device (cage, belt) to prevent arousal or orgasm, controlled by a designated keyholder. Long-term chastity is a common power exchange element — the keyholder holds literal control over the wearer's pleasure.

Consensual Non-Consent — a pre-negotiated scene where one partner simulates resisting while the other proceeds as if they don't. Requires extensive trust, explicit prior negotiation, and a clear safeword system.

A physical piece of jewellery or leather worn around the neck as a symbol of ownership, devotion, or submission within a D/s dynamic. Collars carry deeply personal meaning — receiving one is often treated as a significant relationship milestone.

A formal ceremony or ritual in which a dominant places a collar on a submissive to mark the beginning or deepening of a consensual ownership dynamic. Considered by many equivalent in weight to an engagement.

The feeling of joy or arousal from seeing a partner experience pleasure with another person. The 'opposite of jealousy', often discussed in poly and ethical non-monogamy contexts, and also relevant to cuckolding dynamics.

Freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific agreement to participate in an activity. The non-negotiable foundation of all ethical kink. Can be withdrawn at any time — a past 'yes' does not cover future acts.

Two or more tops working together in a scene, coordinating to play with a single bottom or sub. Requires clear communication between tops to avoid conflicting directions or accidental harm.

Dominance and submission — a power exchange dynamic in which one person takes a leading/controlling role (dominant) and the other yields and obeys (submissive). Can be scene-only or extend into a full lifestyle dynamic.

Daddy Dom / little girl — a CGL variant where a paternal dominant cares for and guides a feminine-presenting little. The 'daddy dom' persona blends nurturing affection with firm authority.

Daddy Dom / little boy — a CGL variant where a paternal dominant takes the same nurturing-authority role with a masculine-presenting little.

Consensual treatment of a submissive as lesser or inferior — harsher than humiliation, potentially involving dehumanisation, contempt, or identity-based language agreed upon in negotiation.

The person who takes the controlling, leading role in a power exchange dynamic. Dominants are responsible for scene safety, clear communication, and the wellbeing of their submissive partner(s).

The emotional or physical crash that can follow an intense scene. Sub drop (in submissives) and top/dom drop (in dominants) can hit hours or days later, bringing sadness, anxiety, or physical exhaustion. Aftercare and check-ins help.

The specific structure and roles agreed upon between BDSM partners — e.g. a 24/7 D/s dynamic, a puppy play dynamic, or a scene-only impact play dynamic. Each dynamic is unique and negotiated by the people in it.

Kink activities considered higher risk, more psychologically intense, or taboo — breath play, blood play, CNC, extreme humiliation. The 'edge' refers to the boundary between safe and genuinely dangerous. Requires additional research, skill, and negotiation.

Bringing a person to the brink of orgasm repeatedly and then stopping or reducing stimulation before they reach climax. Builds overwhelming tension and intensifies eventual release.

Ethical Non-Monogamy — any relationship structure where all involved parties openly consent to romantic or sexual relationships with more than one person. Includes polyamory, open relationships, swinging, and relationship anarchy.

Electrical stimulation — using devices like TENS units, violet wands, or purpose-built toys to deliver controlled electrical sensation to the body. Effects range from a mild tingle to sharp, involuntary muscle contractions.

A strong sexual fixation on a specific object, material, body part, or scenario. Distinct from a kink — a fetish typically requires the fixation to be present for full sexual satisfaction, while a kink is an enhancement.

Using a multi-tailed flogger to strike the back, buttocks, or thighs. The sensation varies enormously by material — suede is thuddy and sensual; chain or rubber floggers are much more intense.

A power exchange arrangement where one partner consents to being available for the other's use at any time, with minimal or no additional negotiation per act. Grounded in a prior explicit consent agreement covering scope and hard limits.

Gentle Female Domination — a softer, nurturing D/s style where a feminine dominant controls a submissive through affection, praise, and quiet authority rather than harsh commands or punishment.

An absolute boundary — an act or scenario you will not do under any circumstances, regardless of partner or context. Hard limits must be respected unconditionally. They are non-negotiable and not to be pushed.

The altered psychological state entered during an intense scene. Submissives experience subspace; dominants may enter domspace. Both are flow states marked by reduced self-consciousness, heightened sensation, and deep focus.

Consensually making a submissive feel embarrassed or inferior through words, actions, or scenarios. Lighter than degradation — humiliation often involves playful embarrassment rather than dehumanisation.

Using guided relaxation and suggestion to bring a partner into a trance state, in which they may be more open to commands or suggestions. Erotic hypnosis (e-hypnosis) is a kink practice — distinct from stage hypnosis and heavily consent-dependent.

Any consensual striking of the body — spanking, flogging, paddling, caning, whipping. Sensations range from stingy to thuddy. Aftercare is important as the rush of adrenaline and endorphins will drop.

Consent given after receiving honest, complete information about what an activity involves — including its risks. A partner cannot meaningfully consent to something they don't understand.

The person who holds the key (literal or metaphorical) to a chastity device, controlling when — or whether — the wearer can remove it or orgasm.

A Japanese bondage art form emphasising the emotional and aesthetic dimensions of rope bondage. Literally 'tight binding' — closely related to Shibari, though some distinguish between the art tradition (Kinbaku) and the technique (Shibari).

Any sexual interest, practice, or fantasy outside of what is broadly considered 'vanilla'. A kink enhances sexual experience — unlike a fetish, it is not necessarily required for satisfaction.

A person who actively engages in or is interested in kink. A neutral, community-positive self-identifier used broadly across BDSM communities.

Personal boundaries within BDSM — activities you won't do (hard limits) or will do only under certain conditions (soft limits). Documenting limits in a yes/no/maybe list before playing with a new partner is standard practice.

A person in an age play or CGL dynamic who regresses to a childlike headspace for comfort, play, or submission. Regression can be part-time or ongoing. Completely distinct from any attraction to actual children.

Master / slave — a deeper, more structured D/s dynamic where the submissive (slave) has formally yielded extensive control to the dominant (Master/Mistress). Often maintained outside scenes, with detailed protocols and obligations.

A person who derives pleasure — often sexual — from receiving pain, humiliation, or intense sensation. Masochism is the 'M' in BDSM's S&M pairing.

A dominance style where the dominant controls fine-grained details of a submissive's daily life — what to eat, when to speak, how to sit, what to wear. Requires a highly engaged dominant and a deeply service-oriented sub.

A casual, informal social meetup for the local kink community, usually held in a vanilla-friendly public space like a restaurant or bar. No play happens — it's purely social. Great for newcomers to meet kinksters in a low-pressure setting.

The explicit discussion before a scene (or relationship) covering activities, limits, desires, safewords, health concerns, and aftercare needs. Good negotiation makes scenes safer and more satisfying for everyone. Never skip it with a new partner.

Any relationship structure involving more than two partners, with the knowledge and consent of all involved. Includes polyamory, open relationships, relationship anarchy, and more.

Out of Character — signalling that you are speaking as yourself rather than within a roleplay persona. Used in text RP and live scenes to pause fiction for real check-ins or safeword calls.

A dominant prevents a submissive from reaching orgasm — indefinitely, or until given explicit permission. Can be maintained through physical chastity devices or through obedience training alone.

A power exchange concept where a dominant 'claims' a submissive as their property within the dynamic. Expressed through collars, protocols, or rules. Entirely consensual and often deeply meaningful — does not imply a literal property relationship.

A roleplay dynamic where one partner takes on the persona of an animal — puppy, kitten, pony, fox, etc. The owner/handler provides care, training, and affection. Can be purely non-sexual for some participants.

An organised event where kinksters gather to engage in consensual BDSM activities. Most have strict conduct rules, dungeon monitors, and a negotiation requirement. Newcomers typically need to attend a munch first.

Any dynamic where one person consensually gives up some degree of control or authority to another. Ranges from a single scene to a 24/7 lifestyle dynamic. The submitting partner always negotiates the terms — submission is a gift, not a default.

A bondage configuration where any movement the restrained person makes causes discomfort — forcing them into a physically difficult but inescapable choice. Combines bondage with sensation and mind games.

Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink — a consent framework emphasising that each individual takes responsibility for negotiating their own participation, rather than relying solely on community safety nets. Paired with or contrasted with RACK and SSC.

A set of formal behavioural rules in a D/s or M/s dynamic — specific modes of address (e.g. 'Sir', 'Ma'am'), required positions, ritualised greetings, or standards of conduct. High protocol is strict and continuous; low protocol is relaxed.

A bondage technique or safety mechanism allowing restraints to be removed rapidly in an emergency — either a quick-release knot, a panic clip, or safety shears kept nearby. Essential safety preparation for any bondage scene.

Risk Aware Consensual Kink — a safety philosophy acknowledging that no kink is entirely without risk, and that informed participants may consent to activities with known dangers (e.g. breath play, edge play). Emphasises awareness over absolute safety claims.

The person who ties in a bondage or Shibari scene — the rope top. Riggers carry significant responsibility for their bunny's safety, including circulation, nerve pressure, and emergency release.

Consensual sexual or erotic scenarios where participants take on characters, personas, or power dynamics beyond their everyday identity — teacher/student, captor/captive, monster/prey, etc.

A person who enjoys being tied — the receiving partner in rope bondage. The term often implies a particular fondness for the aesthetic and sensation of rope, rather than just passive restraint.

A person who derives pleasure — often sexual — from giving pain, intensity, or humiliation in a consensual context. Sadism is the 'S' in BDSM's S&M pairing. A good sadist derives pleasure from a consenting partner's experience, not from non-consensual harm.

A pre-arranged check-in call or text with a trusted friend when meeting a new partner. If the call is missed or a code word is used, the friend knows to intervene. Standard safety practice for first meetings.

Blunt-tipped trauma shears kept within reach in any bondage scene, allowing any tie to be cut rapidly in an emergency without risk of cutting skin.

A pre-agreed word or signal that immediately pauses or stops a scene. The most widely used system is the traffic light: Red = stop everything, Yellow = slow down or check in, Green = all good. Safewords must always be respected — no exceptions.

A defined episode of consensual BDSM play with a beginning and end. Scenes can be planned in detail or improvised within pre-negotiated limits. What happens outside the scene is separate from how partners interact in it.

A submission style where the sub's primary expression of devotion is through acts of service — cooking, cleaning, running errands, or attending to a dominant's needs. Often distinct from, but compatible with, masochism.

Japanese rope bondage technique characterised by specific knots, patterns, and an emphasis on aesthetic tension. Originally a martial restraint art, it evolved into an erotic and performance art form with deep emotional traditions.

An activity you're hesitant about or will only do under very specific conditions — with a trusted partner, slowly, with particular safeguards. Unlike a hard limit, a soft limit might be negotiated toward with time and trust.

Safe, Sane, and Consensual — one of the foundational consent frameworks in BDSM. Activities should be safe (for all participants), sane (engaged in with a clear mind), and consensual (explicitly agreed upon).

An altered state of consciousness some submissives experience during intense scenes — characterised by a floaty, dissociated, deeply relaxed sensation. The brain releases endorphins and possibly serotonin. Can impair communication, so dominants must watch for it.

A person who consensually yields control, authority, or decision-making to a dominant within a negotiated dynamic. Submission is an active, empowered choice — the submissive sets the limits and the dominant works within them.

A person who enjoys both dominant and submissive roles, either alternating between partners or switching within the same relationship. Switches can be situational (depending on partner or mood) or fluid across roles.

The act of a dominant 'correcting' or subduing a brat who has been testing limits — through punishment, restraint, or firm assertion of control. The brat/taming dynamic is a playful back-and-forth built on mutual enjoyment.

The active, giving partner in a scene — the one performing actions, giving sensations, or directing play. A top is not necessarily a dominant; they may be performing a service for a submissive who enjoys being topped.

When a submissive or bottom attempts to control a scene by dictating commands or manipulating the dominant into doing what they want, rather than genuinely yielding. Sometimes used critically, sometimes as a humorous self-description.

Total Power Exchange — the deepest end of D/s, in which the submissive has consensually surrendered pervasive control over their daily life to the dominant. Distinct from 24/7 D/s in that TPE often has very few areas of exception.

The most common safeword system: Green = everything is good, continue; Yellow = slow down, check in, this is getting intense; Red = stop everything immediately. Also used as a check-in tool ('colour?').

The foundation of any BDSM dynamic. Dominants must be worthy of it — consistent, honest, and boundaried. Submissives extend it by choice. Trust is built slowly and broken quickly. No amount of intensity compensates for its absence.

Sexual or romantic practices that don't involve kink or BDSM. The term is descriptive, not pejorative. Some people are vanilla, some are exclusively kinky, and many are somewhere in between.

Sexual pleasure from watching others engage in intimate or sexual activity — consensually arranged. A common kink that can be incorporated into scenes, play parties, or online contexts.

Dripping warm candle wax onto a partner's skin for a brief, intense heat sensation. Low-temperature candles (soy, paraffin) are safer. Never use near the eyes, genitals, or hair without explicit research.

A small, spiked rotary medical instrument rolled across skin to produce a sharp, prickling sensation. Intensity varies with pressure — can be used lightly for a tingle or more firmly.

A negotiation tool — a written list of activities rated yes (I enjoy/want this), no (hard limit), or maybe (open to discussion). Sharing lists before playing with a new partner helps avoid mismatched expectations and skips awkward on-the-spot asks.

A meditative, flow-state approach to rope bondage focused on the emotional and spiritual connection between rigger and bunny, rather than technical complexity or sexual charge. The rope becomes a vehicle for physical and mental presence.